I started taking yoga last month. An entry-level Hatha Yoga class, so I can get the hang of it. It took me months of procrastinating and anxiety before I finally pulled on my yoga pants and set off for my first class. You see, I am flabby, I can't touch my toes, I don't have the arm strength to do a plank for more than 10 seconds, and I was sure everyone in class would be horrified by my big spandexed body trying to do something that, to many, is so fluid and natural.
My 8 year old had been practicing yoga for months and had been nagging me almost daily to "just go and try it." It felt wrong to feed my lame list of excuses to him. I am his mom and, in his eyes, I can do anything. So the very next morning, I put on the spandex and I went to class. And I liked it.
And I am still liking it, both for my body and for my mind. It makes me feel peaceful. It makes me feel strong (though I still can't plank for more than 12 seconds!). And it makes my word slow down for a little while, which is so important in my anxiety-filled brain.
So I am contemplating a New Year's gift to myself. A beautiful, fancy, comfortable, sticky Manduka yoga mat (in the color Amore) to replace my slippery, knee-crunching shocking turquoise Target cheapie mat. An investment in my health, in this journey, in myself.
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